Thursday, May 28, 2009


So today, I was all excited to go to work with my little cake from cake class. (It turned out muy pretty if you ignore my malformed ribbon.) On my way there, I go to change into the left lane and hit a car in my blind spot. Total shocker. I've never been in an accident before. I immediately burst into tears. Seriously for the next 45 minutes, I just sobbed. Bizarre. The cop was practically rolling his eyes at me.

It's relatively minor. We'll need to get a new rear driver's side door but that's about it. And it's totally my fault so no insurance assistance. *Poof* $500. Could have been worse though. No one was injured and it only affected one panel (the door) instead of multiple ones.

This part was kinda hilarious though. So both drivers (me & Big Jeep Guy) immediately pulled over after we collided. I'm sitting there in the car, sobbing, trying to collect myself. I realized I didn't even have a cell phone because E left hers in her dad's car and took mine to work. I realized I didn't have a copy of our insurance card in the car because we had changed companies recently. And at that moment as I'm like 'FUCK. What now?' - the ding sounds and the light for having no gas comes on. The universe was all like 'challenge issued & accepted.'

Argh. This post isn't really wedding related but as I was staring at the damage, I kept seeing different ridiculous elements of a wedding floating away. Like custom ostrich feather fans for all my guests. *Poof* gone! Or a bounce house...just gone. I love this picture. I found it here. Doesn't that look crazy fun? E would say 'just crazy'. She's a bit of the traditionalist...but that's good because it it were just me planning it, we'd have cotton candy favors (in our colors of course!) ...funnel cakes, karaoke, funky colors everywhere, banners...etc. etc. etc. And all of those things are completely cool but I could not pull it off. It would just look like a mess. Or a family day picnic in a church parking lot. So we're going to focus on timeless...with a few funky things thrown in. Like cotton candy. I'm still of the opinion that that's kick ass. :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Money, Money, MON-NAY!

Hmmm well it's a bummer about California...luckily, my expectations were pretty low. Here's to 2010...

Anywho, I'm waiting on a cake to cool so that I can ice it for my class tonight. I have to say cake decorating is not as much fun as I imagined. I'm usually really into crafts of all sorts but I'm just flat out too lazy for this. All these different consistancies, tips and arm positions. I think I'd rather color.

So in short, whatever insane dreams I had of being able to make my own cake are *Poof!* out the window. Luckily, a cake was never really a big deal for me. I suppose we'll have one. I'd rather eat a Lemon Tart personally. Mmmmm or lemon squares. We have a really nice Publix bakery with example cakes that to my untrained eye are gorgeous. Works for me!

Here's what I wanted: a simple, elegant but casual wedding. Ceremony in a garden. Reception either in tent or inside small bed & breakfast type deal. Around 25-35 guests - mainly just our closest family & friends. I hoped to spend about $5,000. Seems reasonable, right? We are talking MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. I feel ridiculous saying that but there you have it. My vision is more than 5K.

At this point, I just want to find a situation where the venue, food & music are around 5K. Everything else, I can start getting here and there. Like E's suit doesn't really count toward expenses because I know she'll rewear it. Or at least that's how I'm beginning to arrange things in my mind lol. Soon I'm going to be like: "Weeell, the DJ doesn't really count because we'd probably be listening to music this weekend aaanywaays. Sooo really it's like going to a club with a slightly more expensive cover." Yeah. Watch me do it. :-P

But in seriousness, there are a lot of things we want in the next 5 years. A house, new car for E, going back to school, babies...a really elegant garden party wasn't on that list 6 months ago.

I wish I lived in the same town as everyone. Part of the problem is that I feel pressure to have an event 'worthy' of everyone having to drive or buy plane tickets. Money saving tips like 'Have a brunch!' don't really feel right for that reason. ARGH.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I hate Prop 8...

So tomorrow's the big day...the California Supreme Court is going to release their decision regarding the legality of Prop 8. At 9:30 am. Pacific Time. I'm going to go nuts. I can't help but be hopeful...buuut...I'm not feeling it's likely to be a positive decision.
Above is my post from November when Prop 8 was voted into effect. You can click it to read it. I'm sorta steeling myself to not be morose tomorrow. I take this very personally...who wouldn't? My personal philosophy can be summed up in a lot of ways as 'Be Nice.' And this is so strangely the opposite. People do things in the privacy of voting booths that they'd be ashamed to do directly to another human being.

Anyways, I'm sending positive thoughts toward California. I promise I am! I know it's already decided, whatever decision it may be...but still positive energy can only help. If nothing else, I hope the court recognizes the 18,000 marriages that took place before Prop 8 passed. Here's to equality...


Okay so today while we were out, I picked up two calligraphy pens. I don't really buy into calligraphy as being a 'MUST HAVE' buuut it's something simple and FREE that I can do to add a touch of luxe to our event. Commence serious practicing!

I think I need a book. I just ended up writing the names of everyone we plan to my normal old handwriting. I have to say that just adding the calligraphy pen to the mix seriously improved my handwriting though! I don't think I could do this if we were planning on sending out a lot of invites but for the 50 odd envelopes we'll send...I can do it.

I found that I kept misspelling my own last name. I never write in cursive except when scrawling my name hurriedly at the bank. So my last name goes pretty much like this "Keis-scribble+flourish". Sorta humbling to be so bad at writing my own name lol.

I looked over and this is what Elissa had 'practiced'. Maybe we'll DIY the invitations too? Um yeah...I think I've just been made Head Addresser. :)

This is what I wish my handwriting could look like. It just looks so light & an envelope of happiness has just been delivered your way.

It seems like most of the brides I've been reading are either doing labels or hiring someone to address their envelopes. But at $2 a pop - I think that might be more expensive than the invitations I hope to send out! Alas, letterpress is not for me...still figuring out what exactly will be but more on that later. :)

Anyone else trying to relearn their signature scrawl into an elegant loopy-de-loop?

***Just in case anyone else has the wherewithal for custom calligraphy, the one pictured is Betsy 2 by - lucky you! :)***

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Where to?

So one of the biggest questions we've been sorting out is 'where to?' Planning a queer wedding is made slightly more complicated due to marriage being legal in only a few states. Getting an actual marriage license is insanely important to me. Knowing that Canada or Vermont or Iowa recognize our union means a surprisingly large amount to me. I mean, why should it matter, we're still not eligible for the hundreds of federal benefits. But it really, really does. So given that, we have two options.

Option A) We elope to Vermont, Montreal, etc. and have an intimate ceremony with just the two of us. We host a ceremony here in Florida where we say our vows in front of friends and family, followed by a reception.

Option B) We do the all thing as a destination wedding in afore mentioned progressive states. We'd invite everyone to join us there.

I worry that if we did the first option, people would be offended that they weren't invited to the first ceremony. Or that it would be seen as some sort of present grab since we were *already* married. Also, it would be nice to have people witness our legal ceremony instead of staging a repeat.

I think right now, we're leaning toward the 2nd option for that reason and a few others. I kinda favor spending our money in a state that recognizes our right to marry. I really like the idea of a 'wedding weekend' where our families can come and just spend a few days relaxing together.

The downside, of course, is that fewer people are going to be able to randomly fly to CT for a weekend. And the general difficulties of planning destination weddings. It's at least a 16 hour drive from us sooo we won't be going up more than once before next summer.

Is it as difficult for other people to pick the wedding location?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Viva La Marriage!

So today, Elissa and I headed over to do some shopping at the Avenues Mall. I wanted to see if Belks had these really cute red shoes in my size (11!) because the one near us did not. We never made it that far. Somehow we veered into Heltzberg Jewelry store and started looking at engagement rings.

The people there were amazingly helpful and they had a lot of different rings. My favorite thing was that the 2 women who helped us understood that Elissa & I were a couple and didn't weirdly skirt around that fact. They asked when we were thinking of getting married, they congratulated us, they were joyful with us! I loved it.

I was looking at my standard selection of rings - .75 to 1 carot, high quality solitaires. And as normal, not LOVING anything especially. I had somehow come to some decision in my mind that I needed to find a classical ring around the 7K price bracket. I have been STUDYING the '4 C's' very carefully. Also, I have big fingers (size 9.5) and I thought that anything less than a large diamond would look puny on my sausage fingers.

I just happened to notice this sweet little set (engagement & wedding band) that I asked to see. And as soon as it was on my finger, I knew. I don't know how else to say it. I am in love with this ring. It was delicate, dainty and sweet. It just felt like this feminine antique or something. I am in love with my ring.

And it was shockingly less than $2,000.

Never in my wildest imagination would I have expected to find a ring I ADORED in that price bracket. I know that will sound silly to some people but I'm truly amazed.

Elissa was really worried that I was 'just saying' I liked it because, well, I like to save the moolah. I am a bargain hunter to my core. But I wouldn't do that with something so important as a ring I hope to wear for the rest of my life. This was just je ne sais quois. I knew.

Bonus? I don't have to feel insanely guilty for walking around with a used car hanging off my finger. I really try to steer clear of a lot of consumerist stuff and this feels a lot closer to who I try to be. I want to make sure in the next year that I don't get lost in the 'wedding' and stay focused on our lives together.

Viva La Marriage!