So one of the biggest questions we've been sorting out is 'where to?' Planning a queer wedding is made slightly more complicated due to marriage being legal in only a few states. Getting an actual marriage license is insanely important to me. Knowing that Canada or Vermont or Iowa recognize our union means a surprisingly large amount to me. I mean, why should it matter, we're still not eligible for the hundreds of federal benefits. But it really, really does. So given that, we have two options.
Option A) We elope to Vermont, Montreal, etc. and have an intimate ceremony with just the two of us. We host a ceremony here in Florida where we say our vows in front of friends and family, followed by a reception.
Option B) We do the all thing as a destination wedding in afore mentioned progressive states. We'd invite everyone to join us there.
I worry that if we did the first option, people would be offended that they weren't invited to the first ceremony. Or that it would be seen as some sort of present grab since we were *already* married. Also, it would be nice to have people witness our legal ceremony instead of staging a repeat.
I think right now, we're leaning toward the 2nd option for that reason and a few others. I kinda favor spending our money in a state that recognizes our right to marry. I really like the idea of a 'wedding weekend' where our families can come and just spend a few days relaxing together.
The downside, of course, is that fewer people are going to be able to randomly fly to CT for a weekend. And the general difficulties of planning destination weddings. It's at least a 16 hour drive from us sooo we won't be going up more than once before next summer.
Is it as difficult for other people to pick the wedding location?